Can a twelve-year-old girl give consent?

A few years ago, a twelve-year-old was caught by her mother sending intimate photos to a nineteen-year-old boy on Instagram. In response, the mother slapped her, giving her a black eye and a cut lip, preventing her from going to school for a few days and facing an accusation of abuse. Now, years later (the incident occurred in 2016), the Court has decided to acquit her, explaining how the reaction, albeit violent, fell within the parental right to educate a daughter. This article is not be the right place to discuss educational methods, especially in delicate situations where many factors are at play (the accused woman was under stress and financial constraints, seems to have a history of abuse, and yet her now adult daughter has stated that she has forgiven her and understands her reasons), nor is it about judgments and courts, but we can reflect on the reactions that this news has sparked among the general public.

The News Comments: A Significant Problem

The rule is clear: never read the comments of the average user on news concerning women or girls, especially if there's even a remote sexual aspect involved. It's a surefire way to ruin your day with blind and impotent rage. The rule has no exceptions, but some comments are so serious and numerous that they transcend their status as fleeting hateful thoughts thrown out in a moment - between emails or perhaps during a lunch break, the banalities of evil - to become warning signs of a patriarchal society that has yet to grasp the concepts of consent, manipulation, and responsibility. These comments not only applaud the violence exerted by the mother but go further. They speak of the then twelve-year-old girl, attributing to her serious faults and engaging in various forms of slut-shaming and victim-blaming, without even considering that perhaps a twelve-year-old is not fully aware of what she is doing in sexual and related contexts, especially when interacting with a nineteen-year-old.

Age of Consent: What the Law Says

As we have established when discussing revenge porn and AI porn, unfortunately, the law (both in Italy and worldwide) is criminally behind on such online behaviors. Here, where the photos were voluntarily sent by the child (at 12, barely preadolescent), things are even more complicated. When it comes to the age of consent, things are not clearer and more crystalline; quite the opposite. In Italy, a legal adult can engage in consensual sexual acts with minors who are 14 years old, according to art. 609-quater, paragraph 1. If the legal adult in question is someone to whom the minor is entrusted, the threshold is raised to 16 years old (art. 609-quater c.p., paragraph 1). However, there must be no abuse of power, otherwise, it constitutes a crime. When it comes to relationships between minors, on the other hand, relationships are considered consensual from the age of 13, provided that the other minor is not more than 4 years older than the younger person.

Reality Is a Bit More Nuanced

The law (which would evidently support the argument that a twelve-year-old cannot provide consent) is not enough to resolve a problem that is more moral than legal, especially considering the patriarchal society in which we find ourselves, where women expressing sexual freedom are harshly punished, repressed, and pushed back into an imagined and hoped-for purity while, at the same time, young girls are constantly sexualized in media and in life. Many people are currently wondering whether there is or isn't an abuse of power between a twelve-year-old and a nineteen-year-old and whether a twelve-year-old possesses all the means and is aware of all the risks involved in sending and spreading intimate photos. The answer is probably not. So why do adult men, on social media, blame a child, attributing responsibilities she doesn't have and doesn't deserve? The answer is sad, but it needs to be addressed. The debate on the age of consent is vital, and should be pursued, even in the public sphere. Education on consent should follow, for everyone.