Is beauty positivity becoming toxic? When beauty stops making us feel better

There are moments when a word, repeated too many times, begins to lose its meaning. In recent years, this has happened often in the beauty industry, especially with terms like glow, self-love, empowerment, confidence, wellness, authenticity, and lately even the no-longer-so-credible beauty positivity. Words that were originally meant to reduce beauty pressure have slowly transformed into a new form of pressure. More subtle, more elegant, and precisely because of that, much harder to recognize. This reflection came to me during a beauty event I attended a few days ago. Perfect lighting, skincare stations, smiling people, talks about self-care, wellness, and learning to love yourself more. Everything looked beautiful, polished, positive. Maybe a little too positive. I had the feeling that in today’s beauty culture, there is no longer space to feel bad, be tired, have dull skin, lack motivation, or simply not feel like the best version of yourself. As if even wellness had become a performance.

The new aesthetic of happiness

For years, the beauty industry imposed impossible beauty standards. Then something changed. Words like authenticity, skin positivity, real skin, and self-care arrived, and for a moment it truly felt like the industry was becoming more human and realistic. Except that today, that same narrative seems to have evolved into something else. We are no longer asked to be perfect, but to be balanced, glowing, mindful, calm, polished, and grateful. Always. Skin no longer just has to look beautiful. It has to glow. The body no longer has to be skinny. It has to look healthy. Skincare is no longer just a routine. It has to become self-care. And this is how, suddenly, even wellness risks becoming another aesthetic goal.

When self-care becomes an obligation

The problem is not self-care itself. Quite the opposite. The problem begins when it stops being spontaneous and becomes yet another thing we have to do, and do perfectly. Ten-step skincare routines. Endless supplements. Pilates at 7 a.m. Journaling. Meditation. Matcha. Perfect skincare before bed. Everything is presented as balance. But are we really sure it is? Sometimes the risk is that contemporary beauty culture is no longer telling us, “take care of yourself,” but rather, “constantly improve yourself, just do it softly.” And that kind of pressure is much harder to recognize because it comes disguised as wellness.

The right not to always be the best version of ourselves

One of the most exhausting things about modern beauty culture is that it no longer seems to leave room for neutrality. You are in your glow era. You are resetting your life. You are working on yourself. You are healing. You are becoming your best version. But what if we are simply tired? What if we do not feel like turning every gesture into another form of self-improvement? That is exactly the point. Beauty should make us feel better, not make us feel constantly optimized.

Real skin is not always glowing

In recent months, there has been endless conversation about real skin and embracing imperfections: texture, pores, dark circles, and blemishes. But even this idea of “reality” often feels curated. A version of reality designed to look aesthetically pleasing because brands and creators realized it performs well online. An aesthetic form of vulnerability. The truth is that there are days when skin looks dull and grey. Days when we feel bloated, exhausted, and overwhelmed. Days when we have neither the time nor the energy for skincare, drinking two liters of water, or turning our discomfort into motivational content. And honestly, that should be considered normal too.

Beauty or performance?

So the question becomes inevitable. Is contemporary beauty culture truly helping us feel better, or is it simply teaching us new ways to perform while increasing anxiety and feelings of inadequacy? Because if every gesture must move us toward a brighter, healthier, calmer, more efficient version of ourselves, then even wellness risks becoming a form of control. The real revolution is truly slowing down. Today, the most revolutionary act is not having the perfect routine, but occasionally stopping the habit of treating ourselves like endless self-improvement projects. Allowing beauty to go back to being something that accompanies life, rather than something that constantly corrects and upgrades it. Because not everything has to glow. Not everything has to teach us something. Life cannot always be only good vibes. And not everything needs to make us better. Sometimes, it should simply help us breathe and give us a little peace when we need it most.