Is the “Detachment Rule” the secret to success? The principle of the Law of Attraction is simply that energy attracts similar energy. But what about the Law of Detachment?
The before? An "old-school" motivational coach, poster quotes and books like The Secret on your spiritual aunt's nightstand. The after? A girl with sharp eyeliner and even sharper truths: TheWizardLiz. In this way, the success approach preached by online personalities flips on itself: do you need to attract or detach to have a perfect and happy life? It's not that simple, but let's start from the beginning.
Who is TheWizardLiz (and why is everyone talking about her)?
The world of online female personal growth has a before and after the rise of TheWizardLiz. Lize Dzjabrailova, a Belgian YouTuber of Chechen origin, has become a reference voice for thousands of young women. Beautiful, charismatic, and outspoken, Liz doesn’t sugarcoat the pill, she swallows it whole. And it works. Because she says what we’re often afraid to admit. She’s young, cynical, wealthy, and an industry in herself. In short: it works. She has tackled her problems through therapy, positioning herself as a pioneer of personal growth by analyzing her habits and learning to make them functional for her life, starting by dismantling toxic ones. The “detachment rule”, one of our trusted guru’s favorites, refers to emotional and behavioral detachment from relationships, people, and outcomes that don’t support personal growth and well-being. So, what should one do? Focus on self-improvement and recognize that a person’s value isn’t defined by external validation or the state of relationships, especially in cases of betrayal or disappointment.
@camilla.brossa La legge del distacco mi ha cambiato la vita #detachment #lawofdetachment #mindset #fyp original sound - Camilla Brossa
Law of attraction vs. detachment rule: allies or rivals?
In recent years, the law of attraction has been widely discussed. It’s a New Age theory born in the early 2000s and influenced by concepts from quantum physics, suggesting that certain energy waves combine their effects to benefit oneself. Simply put, this theory claims that any positive or negative event can be attracted through thoughts, which then become reality. The attraction of the right or wrong situations or people depends on what you need at that specific moment. Through harmonious, aligned vibrations, one can configure a mental state where thoughts are both the cause and the means to achieve something. In short: just ask and everything you desire will manifest.
Many successful people have considered the law of attraction as key to their achievements: Shakespeare, Newton, and Beethoven conveyed this message through their works, and more recently, Oprah Winfrey, Lady Gaga, and Steve Jobs have endorsed the theory. The principle is simple: emit negative vibes and attract negative experiences; emit positive vibes and attract good ones. In all this, we can’t help but wonder if there is a real difference between the law of attraction and the detachment rule, or if they even clash. The first invites you to desire and imagine, while the second asks you to let go of attachment to outcomes. They’re not enemies: they function as two parts of the same process.
The pillars of the detachment rule
Letting go of control is never easy, especially when much of our conditioning pushes us to chase people and material possessions avidly. The detachment law becomes easier to practice if you adopt these three commitments and dedicate yourself to following them.
- Commit to letting go of expectations. Not everything is owed to you, and you owe nothing to the world in return. When you release this burden, you’re freer to embrace what comes.
- Accept that you can’t control everything. You can’t manage every detail. Life happens, and the universe provides what you need, even if it doesn’t match what you wanted.
- Be open to multiple possibilities. Limiting yourself to a single goal means closing off the infinite opportunities around you and clinging to certainties, even toxic ones.
This translates into everyday life in three main areas that affect us daily.
- Love? After a breakup, instead of obsessively chasing the person, practicing detachment means focusing on yourself, without begging for attention, thereby raising your vibration.
- Career? Send a resume without compulsively checking your email, continuing to grow in other directions.
- Self-care? Stop constantly seeking approval in real life and on social media, entrusting your self-esteem to your own path.
The detachment law teaches to let go of what we cannot control, without stopping desire or effort, freeing ourselves from obsession with results or external validation. It’s not an invitation to be passive, but to shift focus to what truly matters: your personal journey. It means accepting that not everything depends on us, that life can surprise us even when things don’t go as planned, and that true change often comes from learning to let go. This way, we learn to live more lightly, cultivate more authentic relationships and goals, and open ourselves to possibilities we couldn’t see if clinging to our expectations.
It shares much with scientific and psychological concepts: mindfulness, the practice of observing without clinging to thoughts, is based on this principle. Even those with anxious attachment can benefit: the theory of secure attachment shows how serenity comes from not depending on others’ approval. Last but perhaps most important is the control paradox: the more you try to control everything, the less control you actually have.
Does this rule meet our needs?
After all, the detachment rule is not a TikTok spiritual trend: it’s a powerful reminder that speaks the language of Generation Z. It’s not about "feeling nothing" or pretending to be cold like an aesthetic filter, but about consciously choosing where to invest your energy. In a world that pushes us to refresh notifications, chase instant validation, and consume relationships as seasonal trends, detachment becomes a rare superpower.
The truth is, the detachment rule isn’t about being less intense, but more authentic: it frees you from background noise and gives you space. It’s like clicking unfollow on everything that lowers your vibes, but in real life. And maybe that’s the point: learning to let go isn’t losing, it’s winning twice. Once because you stop wasting time and energy on what doesn’t choose you. Twice because you open the door to what truly resonates with your frequency. In the infinite feed of possibilities, the real flex isn’t having everything, but knowing when to say "thank you, next" to what doesn’t help you grow.
