
Is Melania Trump really a victim who plots in the shadows?
The numerous issues with public discourse about her
January 21st, 2025
What do we know about Melania Trump? We know, for instance, that she is beautiful and aloof, that she has a background in modeling, that she was born in April 1970 in Slovenia (then Yugoslavia), and that she met Donald Trump in 1998. The two married in 2005, and in 2006, their first and only child, Barron, was born. She became First Lady for the first time in 2017 and then again just a few days ago for her husband’s second term. Another thing we can say about her is that she has always shown little interest in attending public events and exposing herself to the world's gaze. As a result, she has had no problem delegating some of her institutional duties to her husband’s daughter with Ivana Trump, Ivanka. The official version claims she made this decision to spend as much time as possible with her son.
Melania's inauguration look: A wide-brimmed hat to distance herself from Donald Trump?
Continuing the list, we know that during the inauguration of Trump’s second presidency, she wore a wide-brimmed hat designed by Eric Javits. Many speculate that she did so to distance herself, even physically, from her husband. But we don’t really know that. Among the things we don’t know are her true feelings toward her husband, which many are ready to bet are motivated by something other than love. Additionally, we don’t know her specific stance on what seem to be the most pressing concerns of the newly started Republican presidency: LGBT+ rights, especially those of trans and non-binary people, and the United States’ foreign policy. Can we infer her views? Perhaps, but more from her public actions than from her looks—precisely because her actions are so rare, they might be even more measurable. For instance, following the 2020 elections, she supported her husband’s theory of electoral fraud (a theory that led to the January 6, 2021, Capitol riots) and sided with him after his infamous words, “When you’re a star, they let you do anything. Grab them by the p... Anything,” were published by the Washington Post. Conversely, she opposed her husband’s family separation policy during his first presidency, which in 2017 and 2018 aimed to separate migrant children from their parents or guardians.
Melania Trump, the fantasy of social networks, and an unhappy marriage
If we were to follow the opinion of the majority of web users who identify as Democrats, centrists, leftists, or in any case not supporters of Donald Trump and his politics, we would confidently assert that Melania hates her husband, that she actively tries to stay as far away from him as possible, that she is entirely opposed to him, and that she would like to leave him. That she is even sabotaging him from within. However, it’s unclear on what basis we could make such claims. Is it her rare appearances, her bold and always striking (and very photographable) looks, or her expressions? Certainly not her actions. If she wanted to leave him, why couldn’t she? Did she sign an agreement? What does she gain in return? Is she being paid to stay with him, not to divorce during his political career, to avoid making him look even more tyrannical? Something doesn’t add up, and as is often the case, the truth likely lies somewhere in the middle, although we cannot say for sure. At least, not until Melania herself releases a tell-all autobiography in the style of Prince Harry.
a lot of y’all have created this narrative about melania secretly hating trump to cope with the fact that you actually like her aesthetic and style pic.twitter.com/xkCzX0T4QB
— alex (@userctrI) January 20, 2025
Why can’t we grant her responsibility and agency?
Until then, one must wonder why it’s so convenient to strip an adult woman of her agency and responsibility. If we accept the theory just mentioned, we must necessarily think of her as a submissive, weak wife constrained by mysterious circumstances. Alternatively, we must see her as an opportunist, a gold digger, taking advantage of her position. Or, yet again, as a cartoonish (and unrealistic) and unfortunate puppet master. Why can’t we accept the perhaps more likely hypothesis, that she is content—for entirely personal reasons, whether we agree with them or not—with being a hidden First Lady, kissing him in public, and holding the Bible at his oath? Why can’t we accept that a beautiful, wealthy, and, to many, elegant woman could also be Republican, right-wing, and willing to be the face of certain policies for financial or political gains? Perhaps the disdain for Trump that we so eagerly project onto her is only our own. Perhaps it comforts us, even liberates us, to imagine her incapable of deciding for herself. But that’s not how it works, and frankly, it’s not how women, in general, should be considered. Even when we like how they dress.