The "fake it till you make it" strategy does not work in intimacy

It is often the case that one has to force oneself a bit in certain situations to achieve a desired result, even if it means stepping out of one's comfort zone. In pop-culture, the phrase that defines this phenomenon is "fake it til you make it," a slogan that literally means "fake it till you make it" and urges us to overcome certain mental blocks to step into the shoes in the person we would like to be, to come to construct a perception of ourselves already as we would like to see it. The intricate process has its pros and cons, especially when applied to the sexual sphere. Corresponding to a partner's pleasure should be the basis of a relationship, but too often the attunement in reaching climax does not respect the same timing, and one of the two partners in the various types of couples is pushed to fake an orgasm that did not actually happen. 

The main reason for faking orgasms is the difficulty of talking openly about sex with the partner and the fear of hurting his or her feelings and making him or her insecure in intimacy, in order to avoid getting unpleasant situations that may negatively affect daily life. Faking orgasm "til you make it" and waiting in vain for it to come by using the strategy of silence is a losing mechanism at the outset, demonstrating an unhealthy and unbalanced relationship. It is first and foremost frustrating and debasing to live in a relationship that does not make one feel fulfilled, and lying about personal satisfaction can go a long way toward deteriorating the sense of trust in one's partner within all types of couples. Second, on the other hand, faking orgasm also increases physical tension during intimate moments at the pelvic level, an element that makes it even more difficult to enjoy intimacy in a serene and relaxed way.

Speaking of female pleasure, according to Archives of Sexual Behavior research, 58% of women fake orgasms during intercourse. The interesting fact is that in 2022, 63% of the respondents have stopped faking: each of them has faked orgasms at least once in her life but has stopped silently pleasing her partner. A stance that tells of less succubus femininity in the couple and freer expression, thanks to social struggles and years of popularization on the subject, in the sexual sphere, beyond the fantasies constructed by pornographic imagery. In any type of couple, communication is the basis of a relationship as well as the key to social life: whether with the work team or with one's partner, talking clearly about needs and limits makes life (and orgasm) easier for everyone. Talking about sex is actually sexy: being intimate with a person who is aware of her own tastes in the sexual sphere and communicates them makes her perceived as more confident and most importantly, makes satisfaction a less distant goal to achieve for all members involved in the relationship. The important thing is to focus that the goal of a relationship is pleasure. Settling on performance skewed by unrealistic standards-set by the way sex has always been communicated even by the porn industry-and the showmanship of orgasm can block it. While communication barriers can cause disparities in pleasure, false orgasms can signal an underlying medical problem, which exists. In-scope dysfunction can be a symptom of several conditions, including emotional ones: depression, anxiety, and fatigue can reduce libido. Vaginal dryness, vaginismus, yeast and urinary tract infections, or chronic pelvic pain can make sex uncomfortable. 

No need for dirty talk or magic tricks in many cases, just having a healthy pelvic floor and being comfortable with partners by prioritizing communication. In order to experience a more peaceful relationship with sexuality, it is perhaps necessary to normalize orgasm for what it is, which is a strong muscular contraction that requires deep stimulation to occur and has many facets: in addition to the traditional vaginal and clitoral, there are several types, including the dream orgasm, that is, one that is achieved with thought.