Artificial Intelligence Won't Save Us from a Broken Heart

If there were a scientifically proven test that could tell you, at the modest price of a fingernail, whether there is love in your relationship and in what percentage (100%, 50%, or 0%) would you take it? Based on these premises, "Fingernails," directed by Christos Nikou and starring Jessie Buckley, Jeremy Allen White, and Riz Ahmed, envisions a parallel world where seemingly perfect relationships collapse daily under the weight of an unexpected percentage. Unhappy relationships continue to receive a 100%, effectively trapping their members. The implications are clear and dangerous, and the reflection that unfolds pertains more to the social nature of a romantic relationship than technological advancements.

Dating Apps Relying on Artificial Intelligence

Reality, as it turns out, is not far from imagination. On November 6th, Bumble, the dating app that stands out by letting women make the first move, announced that CEO Wolfe Herd would step down, replaced by Lidiane Jones, while still collaborating with the company. According to Herd, interviewed by Fast Company, the future of dating lies in a deeper integration of Artificial Intelligence into app algorithms, ensuring perfect matches with just a few swipes, and perhaps even a virtual assistant guiding choices. The result? Nearly automatic matching, where users participate less and potential profiles are presented on a platter for them to decide. A near future also imagined in Jane Pek's 2022 novel, "The Verifiers," reflecting on the nature of romantic relationships and the influence of new technologies on our choices, including relational ones, and the complete lack of privacy that ensues. Are we willing to sacrifice privacy, a fingernail, the feeling of making an active choice for a relationship that, according to the algorithm, is destined to work? All signs point to a sadly resounding yes.

No Risk, Maximum Security: Is It Possible?

Minimum effort, maximum result, zero risks: this seems to be the goal of dating apps and those who use them. A mantra that might sound positive when discussing investments and stock quotes but, when it comes to human interactions based on feelings, is at least limiting, if not outright barren. The truth is, in a world made for two like yogurt packs, as someone said, we are obsessed with the reassuring idea of navigating life as a couple. Not an incomprehensible push, especially for women; being single after 30 (or even 25) can be a problem. Mechanics and electricians don't take us seriously, we have to go home alone, family worries about our spinsterhood, and rent is expensive. A life partner seems the best solution. Once conquered, whether thanks to Artificial Intelligence or not, a new series of problems arises. Does he/she love me enough? Is there or will there be betrayal? Will he/she please my mom? Will he/she be a good parent to my children?

Uncertainties Don't End with a Match

In this purely predictive phase, other almost superstitious mechanisms come into play. TikTok fills up with arbitrary tests trying to understand if the partner is suitable for a story, for how long, and with what assumptions. To find out, you have to ask if they would pick a strawberry in a field (if the answer is yes, run away), point out a bird on a tree and measure their reaction (if they're not enthusiastic, guess what, run away), and so on. Between pseudoscience and rituals, all these mechanisms scream from every pore our fear of being hurt, alone, of taking risks, of starting over, and of betting on something we are not and cannot be sure of. Understandable, but also inevitable.

Commitment, Work, and Other Relationship Models

The truth, perhaps, is that we don't want to hear that relationships are hard. Beautiful, certainly, but also hard. They cost choices, commitment, compromises. They are almost always worth the risk, but in the process, it's inevitable to take some blows. Perhaps, though, this is also what makes them so important and formative, and no Artificial Intelligence-guided algorithm can save us from a broken heart. Relationships, for that matter, and perhaps it's even more difficult to internalize the concept, are not even mandatory. Beautiful, of course, but not the only way to navigate existence. A community, a group of new and longtime friends, can be just as enriching, an antidote to loneliness and the challenges of contemporary life. The risk of betrayal decreases, but not entirely. We have to deal with it.