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Do people still hook up in real life?

Semi-serious considerations on how our way to pick up partners has changed

Do people still hook up in real life?  Semi-serious considerations on how our way to pick up partners has changed

Here we are again for a new vibrant chapter of the series 'How to be in your 20s - okay almost 30s - and managing to have a balanced social and sexual life, or at least noteworthy'.

The fact that I was able to list not only 10 types of men but also as many women who might hit you up on Instagram, as well as the success of dating apps like Tinder, reflect a structural and deep change in our way of interacting with other people, and therefore of hooking up with them. There's, in fact, an online passage that before was missing and that we all have gotten used to, out of necessity or with resignation. But offline what happens? I mean, is it really possible to get out of your house, go to the grocery's store, to the gym, to a bar and actually meet someone?

I know that theoretically, my question might sound crazy, people meet new pals every day (it happened even to me), but it's something that leaves me puzzled to this day, and not because I think it's something reprehensible, but because it takes more courage to hit on someone in front of them, for obvious reasons. But at the same time, it's much braver and bolder to give in to that person, to say 'Yes, let's grab that drink', you basically accept sight unseen. Being able to see the online profile of a person, get to know their interests, their friends, even before tapping on the Follow Back button or before replying to a private message, gifted us with endless possibilities, while also depriving us of the thrill of meeting someone without knowing anything about them. 

I got a kind of answer to the question I ask in the title at dinner a few weeks ago with some peers with more or less similar lifestyles, who were not able to appreciate the irony and the provocation of the list of men who pick up girls on IG, because, watch out... they don't do it! Not because they're some kind of digital illiterates, but because they'd really rather meet someone in real life, talk to them, chat, get to know them better. According to them the best and most effective way to hit on a girl is simple and as old as life itself: go out to smoke a cigarette and lend/borrow the lighter. Easy peasy. 


Shocked to the core by this statement, I started thinking about a bunch of places where it would potentially be possible to meet someone new. The first that came to mind was the club, of course. I don't know what it is about it, the closeness of the bodies, the disinhibition gifted by alcohol, the music, nevertheless this is statistically the place where you could hook up the most, grabbing a drink with someone, smoking together outside, starting a conversation after the sweet and let me say romantic gesture of leaning the male member against the female body. 

Let's say though that if you feel like meeting someone new any place could work. A concert, for example, is one of the most fruitful occasions to do this, above all because you start out with the confidence to have at least one interest in common unless they're there accompanying their friend, at which point you could share your knowledge on the artist with them. If even during a Beyoncé and Jay-Z performance they keep scrolling on Instagram (I saw it with my own eyes), then let it go, there's no hope. 

According to what I've heard I've realized that also travels might be a good occasion to meet someone, and I mean really the journey, on a bus, on a plane, on a train, striking up a conversation with a funny comment is really easy, except then ruining everything falling asleep and snoring with your mouth wide open. 

Then there's the great chapter of the gym, which according to many is one of the best places to hook up. It's probably true, but every time I see a man lifting weights, strictly in front of a mirror, I can't help but wonder if the sounds he's making are the same ones he makes when he's fucking. In my opinion, they are, but I'm open to debate. Despite my doubts, at the gym, you recognize immediately the men and the women that are there to hook up: girls have perfect make-up and hair, men wear their most revealing tank tops and prepare their jokes at home in front of the mirror. 

I might have to hit another nerve now, the workplace, that by definition offers the chance to meet someone new every day. Still, it's a very slippery (and dangerous) slope, you have to be careful to rules, hierarchies, situations, cons are probably more than pros. Don't start daydreaming of a nice work trip with the colleague you have a crush on... 

Nevertheless, in my 2020 resolutions, I don't know if it has to do with @esselungashitposting - there's the intention to meet someone new in front of the Nutella Biscuits shelf, breaking the ice sharing my knowledge on the eternal war between Ferrero and Barilla. I have 11 months to do it.